ONE YEAR!!

Today is the 6th of June, so tomorrow is actually the one year anniversary date of Mike's death.  However, to me, it is a year today because it was on a Monday.  It is almost impossible to believe that it has been a year already.  It would even be better if I could tell you that all of this traveling has been a great help in dealling with it.  The traveling and the people have been wonderful, but instead of providing me with some great insight, it has only enabled me to put off really facing a life without him.  So, right now I am feeling like a "lost girl", only, unlike the "lost boys", I don't know how to find Never-never Land.  Obviously, this day has been preying on my mind because I have been dreaming about Mike every night.  They are so real - and he looks great - just like he did when I met him.  We all like to think that life was perfect when our loved one was still here.  Well, of course, it wasn't perfect, but it was great.  And Mike opened my heart to love again and gave me more peace and feeling of safety than anyone in my life!  My friend, Carol, is coming from Chicago tomorrow and we will be going up to Lake Tahoe for a week (and freezing, if the weather doesn't suddenly improve).  After that, I guess I will actually have to turn around and head back east to make an actual life for myself.  I will do it, for sure, but it just won't be as much fun!  Someone asked me last week if I was over it - well, I don't think you ever really "get over it", but you do come to terms with it simply because life gives you no choice.  I will just always remeber how much better my life was for having had Mike Maratea in it.  Thanks for listening.  Ricci