LEAVING RENO

Today, I left Reno to start the trek back east.  Margaret Ann is Mike's cousin, who adopted me as a cousin when I married Mike.  She is an only child whose mother was tragically killed.  Therefore, I have adopted her as a sister.  So, she went from being an only child to have 3 sisters.  Good news - I am not the middle any longer.  M.A. cannot possibly know how much it meant to me to be able to stay in Reno as long as I did (I'm sure she thought I was "The Man Who Came To Dinner"!!!!)  There were no suggestions about what I should do.  We played a card game - SKIPBO - and it is truly addictive.  A "freindly" little card game in which each party sees how mean she can be to the other one.  Most mornings we played "just one hand", but went almost to lunch.  Very, very fun.  I got to play in her late husband's golf tournament - with Meg's son and grandson.  We came in 3rd and had a great time.   Occasionally, we would even go to a casino (imagine doing that in RENO!!),  Of course, I would end up losing every time.  However, Monday we decided to give it one last shot and I walked out having tripled my $50.  That was probably another sign it was time for me to leave. (Actually, I left Reno on Wednesday (June 22), but have not been anywhere where I could get on the internet to post this!)  Anyway, I had a great, great time in Reno.  Everyone was just great and Hogan will really miss me because I took him on walks on the mountains.  A really, really nice dog.  So for the last almost two months, I have played wild games of SKIP-BO, drunk a more than sufficient amount of wine, and laughed a great deal.  Incidentally, MA has a boyfriend, who is quite a nice fellow.  Also, Carol and I spent a week in Lake Tahoe, which is always beautiful.  We had a lovely time; however, the altitude affected Carol's breathing, so we did not expend a great deal of energy!  I will get this out and let you know about Cody, WY another day.  Thanks for tuning in again.  Ricci

TIME TO MOVE FORWARD

Well, I have been driving around the country trying to figure out my life.  This week I have been at Lake Tahoe, and it is incredible.  It is beautiful from Vista Pointe and beautiful from the paddle wheel boat on which we took a 2-hour cruise.  However, I still have been waiting for a sign.  Finally, today I got it – from my younger son, who needs vacation help.  So, next Wednesday, I will leave for Cody, WY and see a friend with whom I went from kindergarten through high school.  Since we have not seen each other in 25 years, it will be really fun.  From there, I will travel to Rapid City, SD so I can see Mt. Rushmore while I am all the way out here; then on to Overland Park, KS to visit my nephew and family.  That will be my final visit for a while because from Kansas (without any red glass slippers, I might add) I will travel straight to North Carolina to find out what need to learn before he leaves.  Enough, dilly-dallying, I believe.  It is actually time to start living some kind of regular life without Mike.  It will not be the easiest thing I have ever done, but I have great memories, and had a great love and will be fine.  I will just have to put off a few side trips, like Florida, Ohio, Illinois and Colorado until September.

This week Carol has been trying to teach me to knit – something as easy as a dishcloth; however, I believe that by the third day, she was drinking quite a bit of vodka to be able to stand my ineptitude.  I am learning, though.  By the time I am 70, I am certain I will have finished at least one.  Thanks for reading.  Ricci

ONE YEAR!!

Today is the 6th of June, so tomorrow is actually the one year anniversary date of Mike's death.  However, to me, it is a year today because it was on a Monday.  It is almost impossible to believe that it has been a year already.  It would even be better if I could tell you that all of this traveling has been a great help in dealling with it.  The traveling and the people have been wonderful, but instead of providing me with some great insight, it has only enabled me to put off really facing a life without him.  So, right now I am feeling like a "lost girl", only, unlike the "lost boys", I don't know how to find Never-never Land.  Obviously, this day has been preying on my mind because I have been dreaming about Mike every night.  They are so real - and he looks great - just like he did when I met him.  We all like to think that life was perfect when our loved one was still here.  Well, of course, it wasn't perfect, but it was great.  And Mike opened my heart to love again and gave me more peace and feeling of safety than anyone in my life!  My friend, Carol, is coming from Chicago tomorrow and we will be going up to Lake Tahoe for a week (and freezing, if the weather doesn't suddenly improve).  After that, I guess I will actually have to turn around and head back east to make an actual life for myself.  I will do it, for sure, but it just won't be as much fun!  Someone asked me last week if I was over it - well, I don't think you ever really "get over it", but you do come to terms with it simply because life gives you no choice.  I will just always remeber how much better my life was for having had Mike Maratea in it.  Thanks for listening.  Ricci

Santa Barbara

Ordinarily, I would wait to post so they aren't so  close together, but I have to tell you Santa Barbara is the most beautiful place I have seen!  One would probably have to have a really decent job to live there, however.  Another reason I am telling you this now, is I can feel the sadness creeping in, so I wanted to write about SB while I was still really up about it.  Actually, I am so up about it that if I had had money, I would not have left.  You know, sometimes reality sucks!  It was still beautiful, though, and the drive up was also beautiful.  You are on the highway in the mountains overlooking the Pacific Ocean and it is breathtaking!!  I even saw some "amber waves of grain" after I left there while driving back to Reno.  Now you could say, I have seen America The Beautiful!!!  Talk to you soon.  Ricci